The days are getting shorter and the nights longer again. As every year, this time invites me to slow down and consciously turn my gaze inward. After intense and busy weeks, I am now turning to my own inner world, especially to looking back on the past months and noticing how much has changed since I began to truly take care of myself.
Perhaps a brief note first: my own healing journey has rarely felt like a “journey.” To be honest, I often felt as if I were standing still or moving through darkness without clear direction.
Yet since neither of these was actually true, I make a point – especially toward the end of the year – to remember how far I have truly come. The small steps we take every day add up to a great distance, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. It is worth pausing from time to time and looking back.
On my healing journey, I have learned…
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… that far more people struggle with food than I ever could have imagined.
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… that connecting with others who share similar experiences can be deeply healing, even if it takes courage. For me, this exchange was the first step out of the parallel world I had built during my eating disorder.
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… that the saying “once you have an eating disorder, you always have one” simply isn’t true.
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… that the body is a miracle and is far more forgiving than we often believe.
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… how important it is to say “no” in order to protect my boundaries. One sentence that helped me greatly was:
“A yes to others that you don’t truly mean is always a no to yourself.” -
… that a relaxed, natural relationship with food is possible, even after years of struggle.
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… that self-love is a practice to which we can return every day, eating disorder or not.
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… that we can trust our intuition, even when it leads us toward things that initially seem irrational.
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… that healing waits at the end of the path, no matter how difficult the journey has been. What matters most is believing that it is possible.
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… that it is not normal, or necessary, to feel good and happy all the time.
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… that we cannot be liked by everyone, and that the desire to fit in everywhere is often a quiet driving force behind an eating disorder.
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… that hunger does not begin with a growling stomach, but with the gentle thoughts about the next meal. In the past, I used to wait far too long before allowing myself to eat – something many people do.
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… that yoga can be both a blessing and a curse: deeply healing, yet also something that can be used as a tool for control.
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… that many people feel “different” or out of place, and that we are rarely as alone in these feelings as we think.
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… that each of my travels has been a small piece of my healing puzzle.
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… that everything can change, including for the better.
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… that we cannot undo mistakes from the past, but we can work through old wounds and unresolved issues so that things can come to a close.
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… that hormones greatly influence how I feel in my body, yet I still have a choice in how much power I give them over my day.
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… that every doubt eventually passes – sometimes quickly, sometimes more slowly.
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… that no person and no situation has the right to force me to eat. It is always a matter of respectful communication.
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… that I deserve to be loved and to live a good life, even though I doubted this for a long time.
If you are currently feeling as though you are standing still, I invite you to take a moment: make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, pause, and look back on your own journey. I am sure that more has changed than you may realize in this moment.
And now I am curious. What are your greatest learnings on your healing journey so far? Feel free to share them in the comments. I would love to read them.
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